Jokes
Great jokes that our members have posted to pooclub.
Q: What is the difference between a duck?
A: One of its legs is both the same.
Two missionaries are looking down into jungle clearing at hundreds of natives gathered around a stone likeness of a huge zero. They strain to hear what they're all chanting, but finally make it out: "Nulll, nulll, nulll...".
"My God!" one says quietly to the other. "Is nothing sacred?"
Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a moth.
Doctor: It's not me you want, it's a psychologist.
Patient: I know, I was on my way there, but your light was on.
French Gynaecologist
In the middle of a gynaecology conference, an English and a French gynaecologist are discussing various cases they have recently treated. The French gynaecologist said, "Only last week, zer was a woman ooh came to see me, and 'er cleetoris - eet was like a melon!"
The English gynaecologist replied, "Don't be absurd, it could not have been that big, my good man. She would not have been able to walk if it was."
To which the French gynaecologist responded, "Aaah, you Eenglish, zerr you go again, always talkeeng about ze size.... I was talkeeng about ze flavour."
Orange head
Chap walking down the street sees a fellow coming the other way, and notices he has an orange instead of a head. "I know I shouldn't ask, but I simply have to," he says. "Why have you got an orange instead of a head?"
"Funny story," replies the man. "I was walking along a beach and I kicked a bottle, and out pops this genie who grants me 3 wishes. Well, you know what house prices are like these days, so I ask for a great big house. Boof! Next thing you know, I'm in this great big house set in acres of land. Bloody brilliant!"
"But why have you got an orange instead of a head? What did you ask for next?"
"Well, I look at the size of this house and realize I'll need a maid, a gardener, all that jazz, and they don't come cheap. So I ask for a million pounds, that replenishes itself as I spend it. Boof! Big pile of money."
"Wow. That's incredible! But I still don't understand why you have an orange instead of a head. What did you ask for next?"
"Well, for my third and final wish, I asked to have an orange instead of a head."
Super
Just because I call it super doesn't mean it *is* super... Click for details.
Typical Australian story
Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off.
Bruce slams on the brakes and yells "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?"
Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself."
Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this. "Strewth Sheila..." he says. "Not only are you a great shag but you're a real sport too."
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