Shed 7 - The Wood Store
As you can see, this is attached to the garage, but its purpose is for storing wood. Its previous owner was a keen carpenter and kept great supplies of wood in this shed which, unseen in this photo, extends round the back of the garage in an 'L' shape. (Note: there is no rule saying what shape a shed should be.)
This thing housed a LOT of wood which sadly has been taken away before completion of my purchase of the property. My collection of interesting pieces of wood is going to look quite lost in it. I'm simply going to have to acquire some more.
One final note - don't be deceived by the lack of a door. This is definitely a shed.
Brian:
Pish & tiffle.
Pish & tiffle, I say. That is no shed.
Can you hide in it? No! You can't even get into it!
No, that is no shed. As anyone will tell you, a shed is a place of sanctuary. A place of solitude where a man can escape the daily grind and special irritation that only a wife can give. A shed is a place where you can get up to all sorts of manly mischief safe in the knowledge that you are shrouded from the outside world by a closed and locked door and a tiny window that's made more obscure with a covering of spiderwebs. A shed is a place of stored treasures and, as we all know, the best treasures are secret. Sheds are places that have distinct insides and outsides.
How can that abortion even be suggested as a shed? It has no walls FFS!
As you pointed out, Mike, sheds may, and do, take many shapes, but what they all have, is walls. The walls contain a door and a window and yours has neither.
Which brings me onto the clincher...
Without a door or window, how the fuck are you supposed to get into it?
It cannot be a shed. QED.
Brian
champion bacon butty maker.
Keith:
Sorry but that structure is a lean-to, no way on earth is that a shed, I am a big shed man and know these things.
Ciaran:
It looks more like a carport to me. And one narrow enough not to make your little Vauxhall thing look any more pathetic than it already is.
Definitely not a shed.
Naomi:
Look, I know I'm just a girly and everything, but I think my opinion on this should be given some sincere and careful consideration.
There is a simple way of deciding whether a shed is a shed or not. It has nothing to do with size. It has nothing to do with what it's made of. It has nothing to do with shape, number of walls and windows, floor space or wanking potential.
You just know when a shed is a shed because.... and you should all be ashamed that it has taken a girl to point this out to you... you just know a shed is a shed because...
Because only a shed smells like a shed.
Naomi
surrounded by fuckwits
Brian:
Oh you poor deluded woman.
Sheds do not have a singular scent that defines them as sheds. Sheds smell of different things at different times. Every man knows that. (well those men who venture into their sheds that is.)
For example, I may have a painting project on so for a few days, weeks even, my shed will smell of paint, white spirit, turps, and of course the coppery smell of blood. Or I may be making something great out of wood and then my shed will be filled with the scent of wood shavings, knotting agent and wax. Or then again I could just as easily be working on an electrical job and the main odour would be of solder and burnt insulation.
My point here is that sheds smell of whatever project is ongoing at any given time but underneath it all there is always a collection of scents that have pervaded the very fabric of the building itself. The smell of oil and releasing spray, damp from the leak that needs fixing but you've been putting off till summer. The smell of spilt beer from those times you sought a bit of peace and quiet from the relentlessness of family life. Of tobacco and unwashed fermenting bottles from your wine making phase. Of moss and mould. Of ozone from the dodgy electrics. Of perfume from cleverly hidden love letters. Of countless cups of tea and coffee. Of grass-cuttings from the lawnmower. Of pine from the Christmas tree awaiting shredding and the pine cones the kids collected last summer. Of musty camping gear and damp sunbeds. A collection of smells and scents that defines your shed as yours and yours alone!
Unique odours that speak to you of tranquillity and happiness. Scents that remind you of problems solved and money saved. Smells that record all the blood, sweat and tears and countless hours spent improving the lives of your family.
Smells that remind you that you are a man my son.
Especially when you smell your jizz rag.
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