Poochoonz

January 2012 - Choonmeister: Keith

Theme: Onions

I am going to raise the stakes for 2012 to try and get a better quality of Choon, so I have decided that the theme this month will be the humble Onion (fresh, frozen, or chilled). The reference to onion can be oblique, but must be explained in your submashion as I am thick and probably won't get it otherwise. Anyone who submats The Onion Song by Marvin Gaye, Green Onions by Booker T, or Glass Onion by the Beatles will be automatically disqualified.

Simples .............
 

Players' Choonz

Choonmeister's Verdict

Well Pooclubbers the Hon Choonmeister has deliberated his deliberations and what a sad sorry load of notes hurt my eardrums. Let’s start with Mike’s entry, “Onion”, by Rodrigo Y Gabriella, let’s finish with that one then, it tortured my inner ear, by 2 minutes I was falling asleep and by 3.35 when I started going blind, and thought (thankfully) it was over, it re-started and looked to be going on for another 3 minutes or so. No Mike, to quote a line from a film, it just has too many notes.

Next up came “I Love Onions”, by Susan Christie, a suggestion from Ian. This sounded like a re-hash of an old Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band song, sung on a bad day by a very hung over castrated Neil Innes, but the video although crap was quite watchable.

Finally, Jim suggested Change for Thorpe-le-Soken for Walton-on-the-Naze, by The Onion Band. I had a great problem playing this because the MySpace player didn’t, but after Googling for a few minutes I found it. I could just imagine the vocalist with one hand cupped behind his ear, and the other squeezing his nose to give that twangy nasal sound that REAL folkies love, whilst the (probably) mandolin and accordion backed him with a real folksy rhythm. Jim, it was just too middle England, real ale, olde worlde, Friday night, pub scene folk music for me.

So, how to chooze the winning tune? They were all rubbish in their own special ways, but this month I have actually chozen the choon that was the least painful, and despite efforts of bribery have stayed true to the high office of Choonmeister. So, stand up Ian and take the applause, you are the winner.

By the way, I lied about giving 5 oblongs to the winner.

Your January Choonmeister.

Poochoonz